Checking in on the month of not buying...

Yeah...

I bought things. Thing 1 I have decided not to count because it is the pre-order of "The Hollow Crown" which I have been waiting ages for the opportunity to own (Shakespeare fans note: it is very good. I saw it last year in the UK and have been impatiently waiting to buy the DVD ever since). So as that is very the opposite of an impulse buy I have decided that it is okay. However... the make up and the yarn and the 2 apps... well. I bought things.

The make up in particular is interesting for me to reflect on because here is what happen. Last Friday my day went sideways early on and just got progressively worse. The short version is that I ended up in the Bartell's in Bellevue looking for acetone. What I bought was 3 pieces of NYX make-up that I definitely do not need (and the acetone which I did). I got sucked in because "it's on sale" which would be fine if I actually NEEDED any of it, which I didn't. But the interesting bit was on the way home I had my moment of self realization "GAH! I just did the thing. I bought crap I didn't need because I am having a bad day!" This is not something that happens, ever. So even though I broke my rules I am feeling like I was more mindful of what was happening so not all bad. Perhaps next time I can catch myself before.

And then there is the yarn - yeah... I was on vacation for like 10 minutes when I got fidgety and realized I needed a project. Enter nice yarn store... so I will have a lovely new alpaca wool scarf (sooner or later). Better planning could have thwarted this - I know I like to have projects when I am on vacation and I have plenty of yarn (it just happened to be 2000 miles away at the time).

So apps. Funny story. When I was writing the outline for this post, I remembered the apps at the very end and realized I had mentally not counted those as "things" because they aren't physical. But all the same buying psychology applies (at least for me) and they cost money and take up space on my phone... I bought two apps. One is arguable required; it is a signing/voice lesson companion app to help me in practice. The other... fidgety vacation Joanne strikes again. "I don't want to read the books I brought... I have been wanting to read more poetry... BUY APP NOW" I could have just picked up any one of dozens of books in the house. Nope. Want this shiny app.

All that said I have been more mindful in general about my shopping. I haven't really been shopping for the sake of it. I didn't buy a bunch of crap before vacation or random stuff while on vacation. It is not all bad. In fact I think it is mostly good. There is also going to be a September of not buying things since the August of not buying things hasn't been perfect. Plus frankly more to learn about myself.

Urban Gal

This fine week finds me on vacation visiting family in central Wisconsin. It is a small town really a ways from anywhere. Like a 2 hours in the car to get anywhere, ways from anywhere. It makes me feel fairly stupid about "Eh I don't want to go - that is all the way in West Seattle" a whole 15 minute drive. Gasp. Here? Oh you forgot something, well the decent shopping (their words not mine) is, oh, 2 hours away. Oh you want to go to a zoo with your daughter? That is 2 hours south. Oh you want to go out for dinner? Well there are a couple of bars in town... or you could drive to... It really forces me to realize that I have everything at my fingertips.

This is the longest I have ever visited and it has made me realize what a city kid I am. The smallest place I have ever lived is Portland, Or. which while not a big city, it is definitively urban. And I prefer to live properly urban where I can walk to many things from my house. There is this constant white noise of life and it never gets dark really. Last night I turned my light off and it struck me that I could not see my hands in front of my face, it is that dark here at night. On the upside, I saw the milky way for the first time in years (no meteor shower though- It is best pre-dawn & I am not getting out of bed at that time on vacation). Also there is NO noise. None. The quiet is deafening and I literally can't sleep.

It is just interesting to me how different I would be if I had grown up somewhere like this, or it I lived somewhere like this. I am used to no stop, always going everything and that just isn't the way it is here. Or maybe I wouldn't be different. Maybe I would have just been that kid who couldn't wait to get out and never came back. Actually that is probably what I would be... because that is exactly how I feel about suburbs.

The month of not buying things

Yesterday I found & read this via a Lifehacker article (here): A Year of Living Without.

Then I went home to my crazy house that has stuff packed all over the place because we are earthquake retrofitting the basement. Yet again I had the desire to just start systematically getting rid of all this stuff. As I sighed and got on with working out, I was struck with the fact that the stuff everywhere stressed me out, yet I buy things all time. Things I don't need.

Example: last night at the grocery store I bought I special little thing for cooking eggs in the microwave. It is much easier that the stove top to be sure, but I already did eggs in a bowl in the microwave. This egg cooker is just faster & marginally less fuss, plus my egg is perfectly round when I was done this morning... more crap.

So this is the month of not buying things. The rules:

1. I can buy necessities (food, personal items that actually run out, gas, construction items directly related to previously mentioned remodel, etc). I will stay out of the non-food sections of Target, Fred Meyer and Costco. Lead me not into temptation...
2. If something breaks, I will take a moment to think "Do I really need this (whatever)? Or does something else I already have fill the need just as well." If not replace, if so no buying.
3. When I get that "Oh I totally need to go to Target and get (whatever)" desire I will stop and think why do I want it right now? Do I actually need it or am I just seeking the shoppers high? I am willing to bet that 80% of the time it will really be the latter. 
4. Hard one: replacement habit... Um. Go for a walk? Read? Work on one of my many hobbies? I suspect it will have to be a variety of things. I "shop" probably twice a week, and it nearly always results in a purchase.

That is it. On the face really easy. Don't buy crap. But in actuality it is quite hard. That said I am looking forward to gaining understand into what drives me to buy. (Again I point out the egg cooker, it went in with the bits and pieces for dinner with out nary a thought.) It should be interesting to see how I do because we are going on vacation mid-month which always spurs the buying of things. I'll let you know how it goes.

P.I.E.

I spent two post whining about my posture so I thought I would post on what I am actually doing about it. It is called P.I.E. and it comes from my voice coach Denise Kruse. Here is it:

Posture
Rib cage up, out and left there

Abs relaxed

Shoulders vertically aligned with hips

Weight on the balls of the feet

Feet shoulder width apart

Head slightly forward (this is slight, opens the throat)

Shoulder relaxed

Inhale

Think down (like a water ballon filling from the bottom first)

Diaphragm draws down creating a vacuum in lungs to bring in air

Pelvis muscle must relax in order for the organs to move down and out of the way

Start filling at the knees and fill to the collar bone allowing the upper chest to to expand slight more

Exhale

Draw the air out with sound starting at the very bottom of your torso. Start with an internal jerk from the base pelvic muscles.  

Now course this is focused on supported voice (for signing and acting) but really this is how to breath and stand well. Taking deeper breaths has all sorts of benefits. Most of us wander around taking shallow little breaths (like me) when in fact just breathing fully would make you feel better.

Also there is the whole better posture can improve your confidence thing (LifeHacker article here). So there are many benefits to people who aren't trying to be heard over a train that happens to be passing by your performance space, not that I would know what that is like or anything.

So there you go.

Shoulders over hips.

So this weekend I caught one of those unexpected glimpses of myself in a window. The kind where you don't initially recognize yourself and you suddenly get an honest view of what you really looks like. (Um, this happens to other people right?) I had two realizations: my stomach doesn't stick out nearly as much as I think it does, and I do in fact stand with my shoulders behind my hips. My voice coach said I do this, but I couldn't even picture how that was physically possible so I assumed he was exaggerating to get a point across. Nope. I totally lean away from everything while caving my chest in. A physical manifestation of my desire to protect my heart.  So, yeah. Working on that.

Leaning away

So I am taking signing lessons because... well, I want to. Also I needed to work on supported voice for acting and this seemed like a really great way to do it. It has been interesting and I have made a few discoveries. Like I am a soprano - I seem to be able to make what feels freakishly high notes come out of my person. So, yeah that was a surprise. Also that my tendency to hold back has translated in literally leaning back. My posture is weight back in the heels, shoulders almost behind hips, and of course slouching (stupid desk job). This was a shock. I really thought I stood up straight, leaned in if you will. Yeah. Not so much. Actually I just realized that I am standing all back right now as I write this. Sigh.

Fixing the physical posture is one thing (sort of) but can I fix that without getting to the bottom of why I hold it in - what is it at the root of my needing to be a control freak? And why do I think that somehow holding back some of myself is even remotely helpful? The whole posture of leaning away and slouching is a heart protecting stance - why am I even doing that. Well, I write this as a way of shoving myself out of the protection zone - really it is a good bet that no one will read it in my tiny corner of the internet but this is still in the realm of emotions I would normally stuff down and protect (or hide).

It is funny how you can be the person you are without really understanding why you are that way.

Oh, Hi.

I haven't written in ages and I think the last one was called something like "Colic is a dirty word". Well the baby is 4 1/2. Ahem... So what is today's momentous post about? Make up. Yep. Me writing about make up. What about make up has got me so excited that actually fired up the ancient blog? I found a mascara that doesn't give me raccoon eyes which is a noteworthy accomplishment.

Are you ready? It is No. 7 Exceptional Definition in black. I got it from Target but apparently you can get it from Boots online here. There is kind of a technic to using the brush that comes with it but it is really is pretty straight forward and it really does what it says. But most important to me is the stuff stays on my lashes, as opposed to every other mascara which migrates to my lower lid by 10am (I am including waterproof and very expensive mascaras in the migrating group, by the way). I love this stuff; use it everyday.

Oh and if you don't know what Boots is - bummer. It is drug store in the UK. I have an irrational love of Boots and end up in there every time I am over there just looking at stuff and buying things I probably don't actually need. I suppose it is similar to my love of Target, another store I spend to much time in buying things I don't actually need.