FYI "We have had people looking at this and..." may be offensive to your audience

This morning I was happily driving along listening to NPR and along comes a local story about prop 1 on the August ballot (the parks district one). This was a follow up story to a debate a few days ago. The No side went first and that was fine, then came yes on prop 1... and in he started with "We have have people looking at this..." to which I had an immediate negative response. Oh really "a lot of people" who are, what? Smart than me, and therefore can tell me how to vote. Eventually it became clear that what he really meant to say was that the measure has many endorsements from local groups. But it just came across so wrong that I couldn't get past the initial impression of the statement.

SO, don't use the statement "We have had a lot of people..." because you are essentially telling your audience that they don't really have the right to question you or that the people in question are some how smarter than your audience and thus their lead should be followed. And that might not go over well. It might not go over even when they are smarter because the tone has that authoritarian ring that isn't terribly popular.

And for the record I haven't decided how I am voting on prop 1.

Oil cleansing... not just hype.

So I have been oil cleansing; well creamy oil cleansing. Specifically, I have been using Ultrabland from Lush (here) since the week after Christmas and I have to say hurrah for oil. I have heard the hype for a couple of years but thought "Not for me" because I have always been acne prone. That said, ever since I swung north of 35 my skin seems to be getting drier each year. My solution has been heavier and heavier creams, which was really was only sort of working. We are talking a day cream labeled "intense moisture" followed by a BB cream. Still my face would be feeling tight by the time I got to work.

The very helpful and not pushy sales person at my local Lush store (which was way less choky-stinky than I remember) suggested the Ultrabland after having a feel of my skin. I have to admit I was skeptical but I thought what the hell might as well try it. Love. I am not only using the BB cream as my moisture in the morning, but also I need to buy a new night cream because my current one is to heavy. Basically my skin isn't really all that dry; I was stripping my skin and it just isn't necessary.

I will admit that at first I was using the Ultrabland twice a day and at the two week mark I started to notice a few white heads popping up. My solution was to add in a more soapy but not all strippy cleanser in the evenings (when may face is most funky because makeup, urban dweller, gym, life) then the Ultra in the AM only. Also every couple of days I use Let the Good Times Roll for some gentle exfoliation (again AM only). The only down side of this is that my very expensive (was a gift) Clarisonic brush is sitting unused at the side of the shower. I just don't need it.

So my new routine:

• AM: 
• get up, pull hair off face, wash hands then get a small amount of Ultra on my fingers by swiping them over the top of the tub. 
• Massage between hands (just using finger tips) to warm up, then massage on face for bit (I sing happy birthday to my self twice which is about 30 seconds. Yes, really. Happy birthday.). 
• Wipe off with a wash cloth wet with warm water. Dry, & lotion up. 
• Get on with morning having not splashed water everywhere while washing my face. 

• PM
• Get home from gym and take a shower. Wash face in shower with more conventional cleaner (Ok, I use Purity from Philosophy. I am too lazy to find a link, but you can get this all over the place). 
• Get out, lotion up. Need a way less emollient cream than I have, but use it anyway and then be annoyed that my face is all shiny-sticky-greasy because the cream doesn't soak in all the way because it is too heavy.
• Get glass of wine, relax.

That is it. I swear I even look a little younger because my skin is all moisture-y nice. Totally psychosomatic, but who cares.

A couple of product notes:

• Ultrabland has a distinct smell. Not a scent that is added, there is none of that. It smells like what it is - oil. I have gotten used to it, but I didn't love it at first. On the flip side there no fragrance and thus I use it right over my eyes.
• My Ultrabland is clearly going to last forever because you need very little of it. Makes it a really good value for money.
• Let the good times roll smells like a cookie. This was charming at first, but I have come to hate it. I will be buying something different for my exfoliation the next time around. Which will be ages from now, because again, don't need much of this either. 

Buy Nothing

So buy nothing has become a thing - Check it out!

I suck at this - you may remember my month of not buying things. You know, where I failed to not buy things I don't actually need. While did get some emotional insight into why I shop and impulse buy, did I bought all kinds of crap in the end. Possibly I am not trying hard enough, or maybe I just needed a group to make me serious about it. So yeah, check out the buy nothing project and find a group. It is pretty cool.

Brine that bird

In my pre-Thanksgiving "yes I am still alive" post I mentioned that I was thinking I might finally try brining the Turkey. Well I did it, roughly following Alton Brown's method, and it was amazing. Completely worth a little effort to do it - best turkey I have ever made. One thing to note is that rather than the cooler mentioned in Brown's recipe, I found and purchased very large food grade heavy duty zip top bags. One large enough for a 16 lbs turkey and a couple gallons of brine. We brined over night because of the size of our bird, roasted for 4 pm meal and really ate a lot.

Oh and we did cook the bird grill again. It just makes it tasty all around while freeing up my oven for all kinds of other stuff (potato casserole - yum!). It isn't really all that different from roasting in the oven. Get the grill to a nice roasting temp, keep it there till the turkey is done. We don't baste, or really mess with it at all. One thing we do is roast the first hour breast down, then flip it and roast until done in the standard orientation. Flipping can be tricky - our method involves a pair of rubberized, heat proof gloves. My husband dons them, then just picks the bird up and turns it over. Done. (Uh, by the way we use a v shaped roasting rack which make that whole thing a little easier.)

Another thing I did differently this year is the dressing. I used my standard recipe but instead of casserole I used one of my dutch ovens and about 3 cups of broth. It was the best I have made yet & the closest to from the bird stuffing (the brine + grill cooking means no stuffing the bird).

Overall the food was great, it was good to have family around and it was a nice break from rehearsal. The only down side was that my general level of tiredness meant that I was falling asleep on the couch at 7 pm. Or maybe that was the wine...

Rehearsal is the work

We opened last weekend. It went well really. I was exhausted.

I arrived for preview wiped out. I haven't seen my friends in a month, never mind my family. I am FRIED. I am thinking "Why and the hell do I do this? I am killing myself. I just would really like to sit in front of the TV and drink beer for a night." Tired.

And then I go on. I am alive. Awake. Ready for more. I love this. I don't even know why - maybe I am just an attention whore (see also: has a blog) but god do I love it. Michael Caine says in his book Acting in Film "Rehearsal is the work, performance is the release." and he is so very right. I am probably paraphrasing the line (ha), and as I remember he was actually quoting someone else. But the point is solid and true (note to self: re-read book). At the end of weeks of rehearsal I am spent and can't remember why it is that I am doing this crazy crap.

And then we open, and there is the release of performing. All the work in the rehearsal pays off and you get to live in this (usually intense) moment of someone else's life. So I look for the next audition and keep going.

Where did she go?

Rehearsal, that's where.

Right now my life is work, eat, rehearse, repeat. Tonight we are going to squeeze in three runs so that we can have tomorrow "off." If that sounds exhausting that is because it is. "Off" in quotes because I am hosting tomorrow and while I have help, it is still mostly me.

In the works I have a post about sausage rolls (No, not pigs in a blanket. Those are totally different.). And we are brining the turkey for the first time ever, followed by the "roast the turkey on the grill" method I made up last year because I have one lonely oven. So, I'll let you know how that goes...

Doing Christmas shows seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Speaking of which (incoming shameless self promotion) if you live in the Seattle area you can check us out starting Dec 5. Show and ticket info from Stone Soup Theatre's site.

But really, what am I afraid of?

Nearly every week in my voice work there comes a point where my coach asks me "what are you afraid of? Let it out!" In the moment I can never put my finger on it "I don't know," I just don't seem to be able to get out of my own way. But really, I do know what it is... fear of not being good enough. If I keep it in, it can't be judged. If I hold back, I won't go to far and get it wrong.

Cripes, is it hard to get past.

I am the typical first born, A student, everything has to be perfect all the time or I failed type-A pain in the ass personality. So yeah fear it won't be good enough is practically core to my being. Easy to say, really difficult to actually deal with. There is an interesting twist though - it doesn't rule my day job the way I find it dominating me in my artistic work. Something goes sideways at work and my reaction is generally "Shit that didn't work, I'll try something else". Get into art... I am afraid enough that I don't push it in the first place. Sometimes I don't fully commit because I am afraid to not be good enough. Which, by the way, is idiotic because in most cases only by fully committing will you be good enough. Again, easy to understand intellectually, very hard (for me) to actually live.

No real solution here, just admitting the fear is there to be faced... Step one?

Edit: Almost two weeks has lapsed since I wrote this post. Fear... so powerful. Here we go post button...