Rehearsal is the work

We opened last weekend. It went well really. I was exhausted.

I arrived for preview wiped out. I haven't seen my friends in a month, never mind my family. I am FRIED. I am thinking "Why and the hell do I do this? I am killing myself. I just would really like to sit in front of the TV and drink beer for a night." Tired.

And then I go on. I am alive. Awake. Ready for more. I love this. I don't even know why - maybe I am just an attention whore (see also: has a blog) but god do I love it. Michael Caine says in his book Acting in Film "Rehearsal is the work, performance is the release." and he is so very right. I am probably paraphrasing the line (ha), and as I remember he was actually quoting someone else. But the point is solid and true (note to self: re-read book). At the end of weeks of rehearsal I am spent and can't remember why it is that I am doing this crazy crap.

And then we open, and there is the release of performing. All the work in the rehearsal pays off and you get to live in this (usually intense) moment of someone else's life. So I look for the next audition and keep going.